I cannot get enough of this fake lesbian blogger scandal! Out of compassion for the gay community, Bill Graber took on the guise of Paula Brooks and set himself up as the editor of a lesbian support site. He’s a straight, married man who corresponded (and by corresponded, you know I mean, straight up girl-on-girl epistolary porn) with the fake Syrian lesbian.
But getting back to the above quotation. His defense is that people wouldn’t take him seriously if he blogged about gay issues being a straight man. OK… so he took on a pseudonym and pulled up the old Wordpress and came up with the site name:
LEZ BE REAL.
No. But YES!
Ok, lez be serious here for a second. What if I, as a straight woman, decided to blog as a gay man. What should my fake blog title be?
— FUN FOR FAGZ
— HELLA HOMOZ
— TRUTH FOR TWINKZ
No. That’s not offensive, right? Nah, that’s what I thought, faggots. Anyway, you’ll be fine, Bill, you know how easy-going and hard to offend lesbians are. Phew!
I’ve been thinking about this fake lesbian blogger in Syria and I’ve come to two conclusions:
1) Men want to write as a woman because it actually allows them to phantomly mansplain things from a female perspective.
2) There is a kernel of truth to it, given that both men and lesbians DO like pussy.
At the end of this little scandal, this guy at least can say, “I haven’t been lying about everything! All those posts about rug-munching — that was definitely from THE HEART… that other shit, about, like Syria and feeling oppressed or whatever, yeah, maybe not.”
(Reuters) - Greenpeace said on Wednesday it had evidence that Barbie doll packaging comes from Indonesian rainforests, accusing toy manufacturers such as Mattel and Walt Disney Co of contributing to the country’s rapid deforestation.
On Tuesday, Greenpeace activists dressed as Ken dolls abseiled down the side of Mattel headquarters near Los Angeles to unfurl a banner saying Barbie packaging contributes to rainforest destruction.
The massive pink-and-blue sign on the Mattel building outside Los Angeles, featured a frowning Ken declaring: “Barbie, it’s over. I don’t date girls that are into deforestation.”
I can hear Barbie’s response: “But, Ken! I’ve never, ever even had pubes!”
Seriously, when I first read this I thought Ken was advocating full-on 70s era bush. Wouldn’t that be incredible? Given that Barbies are essentially an anti-feminist tool to get little girls to hate their normal-sized, non-smooth bodies, it would be rather something if Ken could convince Barbie to lay off the brazilians and throw down a massive hairy vag. Then maybe I might be able to believe that Barbie could actually be an Astro-Entrepen-Veteri-Surgeon.