The Unusuals, the show my friend Dominik works on, just got cancelled by ABC, which is really too bad because its a great, weird cop dramedy. Above is the link for an online petition that’s gathering signatures to keep the show alive.
While you’re there, be sure to sign the petition to get the Jonas Brothers to visit Kuwait on tour. Because what the Middle East needs is a trio of twinks banging on about their Promise Rings. Actually, that’s exactly the kind of entertainment Ahmadinejad secretly blogs about… but not here at his Official Blog. He tumblrs about it.
Because what I want when incinerating my loved one is more variety and choice in musical accompaniment.
On the flip side, now granny’s ashes will be sent aloft into the stratosphere to Uncle Jim’s strident version of “Love is a Battlefield.” As they say, the funeral is for the surviving relatives and if I want to get shit-canned and warble through “Womanizer,” then I have every right.
Recently, my mother told me of a man she considered dating before my dad rolled around. Apparently, he was a man of many charming attributes. In addition to being an English professor he was also an accomplished tennis player and attired himself for his weekly matches in whites that were memorably small and tight. Check plus there. He also wore a gold bracelet, which was scandalously nancy-boy for such a hetero hero of the Literature department.
After they enjoyed a flirtateous bout of banter during office hours, he asked whether he wished to adjourn to his quarters and listen to a record of a woman being whipped. Startled, my mother replied, “Well, no thanks, I think I could live without hearing that.”
Tales of my mother’s Sex and the City antics bring on queasiness enough, but I was thinking about how much higher the bar has been set for my generation. If a teacher perved on me, he’d have to go leaps and bounds better than a recording of a chick getting some S&M attention. Even 2 Girls 1 Cup is child’s play because, hey, even Kermit the Frog has seen that.