January 2012
3 posts
3 tags
Cocaine Blues by Escort.
One of those tracks that just feels right. Ha, I guess like cocaine.
But, really, it’s a jam not just because it has salacious subject matter. It makes you wish for Studio 54 and white pantsuits with nothing on under.
And it was written in 2011.
Hey, DISCO is always.
bmichael asked: I guess the difference for me is that the women are characters in the weeknd songs, but lana del rey is sort of just herself in her songs. she's a character, sure, but she's always herself. the weeknd can never be his characters. i sort of thing ldr is like anything else, where people sort of like it or dont. i listened to video games about fifty times in one day and really enjoyed it....
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Lana Del Rey and The Weeknd: Sex, Drugs and oh...
Another day, another Lana Del Rey leak. This time it’s “National Anthem,” a nicely jaded capitalist ode that praises drinking and driving and excess buying. “Money is the anthem of success,” Lana coos. Perhaps it really is cash-money that gets our girl Lana all hot and bothered since this is the first time I’ve ever heard her not sound narcoleptic.
Part...
December 2011
8 posts
3 tags
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“At a lunch in New York, Stemberg and Allison shared their disdain for Section...”
– From the brilliant Bloomberg News story by Max Abelson in which rich assholes in the 1 percent shoot their mouths off. Amazingly they go ON RECORD saying stupid things like the above.
Read all of it here.
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Young Sadult.
The last trailer before Young Adult began was for Titanic in 3D. I raced to cram my fingers in my ears so as to not get the horrific Celine Dion song we all know and hate stuck in my head. Didn’t work. You’ll be happy to hear that the trailer included every single thing you remember oh so fondly from that bad bad film: Kate and Leo flying on the prow, the spin-dance, nude sketching,...
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7. Morning handjob As the girls and I discussed... →
Usual link bait over at Glamour magazine on what to give your manz this holiday season so that you guys have a triple X-mas.
Does it surprise any of the ladies out there that both “blow jobs” and “hand jobs” made it on to this list? Does it surprise any one out there that this guy couldn’t come up with more than 8 items?
First of all, a hand job? Really? I’m...
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Shame.
Couple thoughts on Shame, which I saw last night in at the AMC theatre on 68th street and Broadway. Same place where I saw Avatar and, ugh, multiple Harry Potters. So, mainstream as they come and probably just as filled with bedbugs.
I expected to enter a theatre with solitary audience members spread out with many seats between one another and a damp trench coat over each of their laps. And...
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Sex, Porn and Young Adult Fiction.
“In one of the scenes, which was really important to me, one of the main characters, David, the asshole character—well, he’s a player, he’s gotten around, but eventually he gets to have sex… It’s a disaster, physical sex with a girl, it’s not doing it for him. They’re in the dark, and he’s—his whole sexual life has been built on porn. So just to get off, he needs to imagine...
November 2011
7 posts
4 tags
Eugenides & Barnes.
Both these authors have new novels out: The Marriage Plot and A Sense of an Ending, respectively.
Even though Eugenides is American and Barnes is English, both stories use the old fashioned love triangle to explore the damage individuals wreak on others, even (especially!) the people they love.
Most crucially though both novels feature scenes where a main male character wanks off into a sink.
...
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Discographies really got it right this time with... →
I mean:
“2% retired mailman scat-singing over a fleet of defective zambonis”
These are words etched of genius.
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Realizations part 1.
Came to the epic conclusion that what I really, truly want more than anything in the world would be to find a nice man for once and settle down somewhere sensible like Connecticut and have a girl and a boy each and a golden retriever named Buddy and then just slowly murder each of us like Madame Bovary.
One can dream!
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Perfect Graphic Representation of European Debt... →
I think the artist is going for “extreme visual clarity.”
According to Harvard economist Kenneth Rogoff, the euro zone is “the ultimate contagion machine.”
Correct me if I’m mistaken, but I was under the impression that Gwyneth Paltrow was?
4 tags
TLC, Meet Your New Head of Programming
On Sunday, I had the pleasure of hitting a surprise birthday brunch and was seated at the end of the table with a hilarious couple. We mirrored one another’s humor and hangovers. While we were trying to slide our faces on front-wise through the application of copious mimosas, two attractive women next to us engaged in a gravely serious conversation about sharks, as in:
Lady A says,...
October 2011
4 posts
4 tags
CMJ 2011 Round-up Round 1 →
It’s that time of year! Which means that SXSW is just around the corner…
3 tags
It brings attention to the toilet market, not... →
The fuck?
The New York Times has a toilet reviewer now apparently. One would think that every toilet was practically identic—- Jesus Christ, what am I? Some sort of toilet philistine??
Nearly every line here is a gem. I won’t ruin it for you, but I would love to call out one bit:
“The audio quality was quite good, considering that you are listening to a toilet.”
...
September 2011
8 posts
1 tag
“For a play on Spotify, the artist gets paid $0.00029, So… 5000 plays...”
– (via notesladykier)
This is horrific. I understand that consumers have A) long-standing resentment towards record labels for historically charging quite a lot for albums (remember that $18.99 for Boyz II Men from the Coconuts in the mall? Hard won, that was. Hard won.) B) grown used to getting...
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UBS Proclaims: "Last One Hired, First One Fired....
You know, I always think these stories about so-called “rogue traders” are a PR sleight of hand, as in: “WAT?! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! WE LOST HOW MUCH?” “2 billion.” “WHO DID THIS? TELL ME WHO DID THIS!” “Well, you, for one thing. And your whole team, as well as that entire branch division we set up in our London office was actively...
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On the show, Zooey Deschanel’s Jess, following a... →
Usually I shy away from girl-on-girl crime because when the in-fighting begins your enemy can relax. But this Zooey Deschanel business is too much. New York Magazine describes her as a “paragon of femininity” and “hella adorable.” And her character on her new show watches Dirty Dancing while crying uncontrollably? Who does this endear?
No doubt, she’s...
2 tags
New Endeavor!
Gonna start a sex blog with my well-wrought pseudonym: Tina Vanderlips.
3 tags
August 2011
7 posts
3 tags
A Big Day, Today Was.
Realized that the only thing I enjoy MORE than a good, hearty chuckle is… a good, hearty fuckle.
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Oh great! Here is an article in New York Magazine... →
Presumably, the placenta acts as a palate cleanser after biting off her impregnator’s head mantis-style, but before eating the baby.
Again, let me emphasize how NOT READY I AM FOR ANY OF THIS NONSENSE WHATSOEVER.
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July 2011
6 posts
2 tags
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Cowboys and oh go fuck yourself, Jon Favreau.
My question about Jon Favreau’s newest masterpiece is where does he get his ideas?! Wait, I think I’ve got it:
“Yo, boyz, we really need a new Old West film. You know, like saloons and prostitutes and shoot-outs and whoa! James Garner cameo! Yes! Right? Like, a good old cowboys and indians type yarn…. but <cough> that’s a little… uhm POLITICALLY...
4 tags
QREAM?
Devious master of the female demographic Pharrell has developed a new alcoholic drank for teh lay-deez. It is called Qream. For real. It is somehow a 95 percent lactose-free dairy-based liqueur that comes in no doubt delicious strawberry and peach flavors.
I know that when I belly up to the bar, first quibble in my mind is, “If only milk were alcoholic… it’s just what...
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HOLLYWOOD super chef Gwyneth Paltrow shocked... →
The crack-cheese comment notwithstanding, this is really how we’re referring to Gwyneth Paltrow now?
Hollywood super chef?? Not only has she lived in London for the past decade, but a super chef?
Look, if we’re just making this shit up out of thin air, why not go the whole hog?
“Michelin-Starred Sumo Wrestler Gwyneth Paltrow rescued a puppy from a raft during a monsoon in...
3 tags
You know what really kills me about Nathan's...
The water-soaked buns.
June 2011
6 posts
2 tags
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“I didn’t start this with my name because . . . I... →
I cannot get enough of this fake lesbian blogger scandal! Out of compassion for the gay community, Bill Graber took on the guise of Paula Brooks and set himself up as the editor of a lesbian support site. He’s a straight, married man who corresponded (and by corresponded, you know I mean, straight up girl-on-girl epistolary porn) with the fake Syrian lesbian.
But getting back to the above...
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Faux Lezzies.
I’ve been thinking about this fake lesbian blogger in Syria and I’ve come to two conclusions:
1) Men want to write as a woman because it actually allows them to phantomly mansplain things from a female perspective.
2) There is a kernel of truth to it, given that both men and lesbians DO like pussy.
At the end of this little scandal, this guy at least can say, “I haven’t...
3 tags
Lady thoughts on lady issues.
I’ve decided that the core piece of my summer wardrobe will be:
Tear-Away Pants.
Sporty, stylish, festooned with buttons, what else could a lady on the go ask for? What do you mean, they rip right off your body, leaving your bottom half entirely in the nude?
All the better for sliding into home base.
3 tags
Barbies are Bad for Everyone.
(Reuters) - Greenpeace said on Wednesday it had evidence that Barbie doll packaging comes from Indonesian rainforests, accusing toy manufacturers such as Mattel and Walt Disney Co of contributing to the country’s rapid deforestation.
On Tuesday, Greenpeace activists dressed as Ken dolls abseiled down the side of Mattel headquarters near Los Angeles to unfurl a banner saying Barbie...
May 2011
5 posts
4 tags
